""Shedding the Shoulds" by Catherine Parisio
– His hand reached over and settled on my thigh.
I didn’t know where this was going, but I wanted to find out.
Catherine Parisio is a freelance editor, relentless writer, and international schoolteacher, currently living and working in Calama, Chile. The college student with the courage to take a risk and pursue an unconventional relationship became a woman living a somewhat uncommon life as an international schoolteacher, seizing opportunities to experience all that life has to offer. Catherine believes the pivotal moments of life provide insight into the core values that shape us; writing and sharing these stories is an intimate act that reveals our humanity.
Author’s Talk
Catherine Parisio
Choosing to pursue this relationship was one of the first times in my young adult life in which I followed my own path; one not planned by my parents, nor ordained by society, nor expected among my friends. My actions that day were a reflection of my authentic self.
You only regret the things you don’t do. This familiar nugget of wisdom is one I live by. In my opinion, a life without risk is merely an existence. I crave more from my limited time on this earth! I strive to embrace the idea that every experience, regardless of outcome, is a necessary step along life’s path, an opportunity for growth and learning. This belief was the driving force behind my decision to knock on Dr. R’s door that night.
A writing teacher recently encouraged me to “write the story that wants to be told.” As I thought about the theme, Now or Never, this story kept bubbling to the surface of my mind. At first I didn’t understand why, but clarity came when I uncovered its deeper significance. Last year I grappled with a life-altering decision in which I had to choose between following an expected, conventional path or diverting down a risky and unknown road. I imagine you know which direction I went. Writing this story reassured me that my decision had been the right one.
Ending the story the way I did felt uncomfortable, a bit risky even. As a reader, I always want to know how a story ends. However, once I decided to focus on the internal struggle elicited by the decision itself, the details that came after were no longer relevant. I comforted myself with the knowledge that I could include the result of my decision here:
I had a wonderful evening with Dr. R. that night, sipping wine in his living room, listening to the roar of the nearby ocean, and returning to my apartment just before sunrise. We ended up in a relationship that lasted nearly a year, filled with sweet memories that remain in my heart to this day, more than 30 years later. We ended it amicably and remained friends for a few years - he even attended my wedding. If I hadn’t had the courage to go after what I wanted, I would have missed out on a joyful and meaningful experience.—Catherine Parisio
Diana Neunkirchrner
This story is read for the author by
Diana Neunkirchner, whose story,
“Five Minutes More” was included in
Sooner of Later, PSPP fall 2023.
Diana read her story
for “6-minute Stories.” podcast.
