"A Terrible Way To Live" by Phyliss Grady Adcock

 – The bride is no longer naïve.

His favorite victim was the one who loved him most.

After teaching for 34 years, Phyliss Grady Adcock, retired in Morehead City, North Carolina. Her writing has appeared in Mailbox Magazine, Teacher’s Helper, That Southern Thing, Luck and Opportunity, Trouble, and Curious Stuff. Her grant writing netted over $5,000 for classroom projects. For one grant proposal, she was recognized as the first Raychem Educator of the Year. She is listed in Who’s Who Among America’s Teachers for 1996 and 2000. She is currently writing humorous stories about the colorful characters in her family. Writing is her “Happy Place.”

Author’s Talk

Phyliss Grady Adcock

The world believes that abused women are uneducated, ignorant, and not strong willed. Even the highly educated, intellectually gifted, and towers of strength can fall prey to a master manipulator, especially when the grooming begins when they are only 14 years old. 

My family was loving and supportive. I had a good self-image and lots of friends and activities. I was a cheerleader and took dance, art, piano, horseback riding lessons, and modeling. My dad was able to provide a prosperous economic basis for our family. I had a charmed life. 

At age 14 I met a handsome football player who swept me off my feet. He said and did all the right things until I was hooked. Slowly he started his manipulation. It was subtle at first and I tried to understand or make excuses. His mother was a young widow and his uncle, who served as his male role model, had demons of his own. Once he had conquered one area of my life he began to take my spirit and confidence. It took many years and I tried to escape several times, but he always sent flowers, apologized, and promised to do better. My caring and forgiving nature was not my friend in this situation. I bought the lies and ended up his victim. My self-worth was gone and my carefree life.  

Looking back it is hard to realize that this could have happened to me. Abuse freely choses from all kinds of people. Abuse is also very good at what it does best, destroy!—Phyliss Grady Adcock