"Laughter Cannot Be Outgrown" by Nikki Campo

 – I saw my mistake.

A daughter understands how to find her mother, again.

Nikki Campo is a mother to three young children in Charlotte, North Carolina. She has decided that parenting is the simultaneous profound sadness and profound relief over the passage of time. When she’s not writing or staring at her children, she’s scarfing dark, salty chocolate. She is a member of the Charlotte Writers’ Club and Charlotte Lit. Her writing has appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, Good Housekeeping, Bon Appetit, Charlotte Magazine, and Chicken Soup for the Soul books.

Author’s Talk

Nikki Campo

I first sat down to write about my third child’s onesie — the central prop in my essay “Laughter Cannot Be Outgrown” — a few years ago. Though at the time I couldn’t have told you for sure what the story would be about, I sensed the story wasn’t without meaning. That is, I knew my attempt to preserve my late mom through an inanimate object had backfired. You might be thinking, Of course it had.  

In the writing, I wanted to interrogate the question of why I had saved the old gift my mom gave to someone else’s baby. What was it about the clothing, or the saving of it, that was significant? Was there anything universal about my story? 

As you might surmise, given the essay is here for you to read (or listen to), I found what I was trying to say. It’s that sometimes what we think we’re looking for isn’t what we ultimately need to find. This is my story of finding. 

Lately, most of what I write is both personal and scientific: I rely on experts to help me make sense of what I observe in my life. But in this story, there is no expert input, just what I’ve learned over the years since losing my mom, and finding her in the least expected places. In turn, each time I find another piece of her, I find another piece of myself, too. 

I hope you enjoy listening.